Small Farmer Big Dreams. 5 Years Into My Gentle Farming Dreams. Would I Do It Again?

   Moving to our new home from a "have to leave" situation... I decided to raise what's known as "the worlds cutest sheep" the Valais Black Nose Sheep. . This came after quite a lot of thought, planning and help from a couple friends. 

We installed the fencing. Secured and repaired fence that was already here, went several hours away to tear down a shed, load it onto trailers and bring it back  so we could rebuild it into a barn.

The countless hours of research and study online about raising sheep, keeping them healthy, happy and thriving. The cost of purchasing my foundation ewes as babies so I could learn as they grew and we could grow together. The investment into the feed, bedding, straw, minerals, and other shelters.  Those with livestock know that list can and does go on forever. The needs are never ending especially if we desire to keep improving the land, the lives and the health of our animals, as well as ourselves along the way.

I finally got my foundation ewes raised and bred. I have 50% Ewes now ready to breed however, the price to do so is thousands of dollars for embryos, AI or renting rams.

I would like to add right here, all the things I wish I had understood, researched deeper or had known ahead of time.

Such as....  I didn't realize even though my land is farm land, the property only allows for 6 full grown sheep, until after I had started this adventure and already invested everything I had.

I had applied and followed all the steps to getting my land registered as farm land completed application for and received the farm number from the USDA.  I assumed property that was registered as farm land could be used as the owner saw fit.

All this is now limiting my ability to breed up further. Yes that was naive on my part,  but nothing I can do to change that now. My plan was to be breeding up and weaving rugs at lightening speed so I could purchase and move to a much larger property within five years. 

Out of all the things that I look back on .... this was by far the worst mistake I've made  in this whole adventure because in the end, everything else can't "be" accomplished  without the land. 

Any babies I would have  from my 50%ers will of course be the next level up, known as F-2's I think somewhere in the 68% blood lines at that point, and their value increases even more.

 I already have 6 full grown sheep. I am unwilling to part with these original sheep that brought me to this point and have been on this journey with me from the beginning. That was literally part of my plan for these first sheep, for this farm and our story as I have shared it with the world.

They are the ones I have learned through trial and error and practiced with. The ones I know like the back of my hand and have been able to start and continue producing all the YouTube Videos and posts for Social Media that helps  spread my mission and can perhaps someday bring in enough to break even or oneday become an income source. 

I also believe in the" gentle farming" practices as well as having my own inner desires on what kind of a human I want to be despite the money that could or perhaps would be. 

Do I believe in what I'm doing enough to not go back on my beliefs even if I could become wealthy and financially secure if I just caved on a few of the things just to get a head?  The answer as naive as it may sound, is YES. I believe in the mission and the message enough that caving on some ethical beliefs is NOT an option for me. 

I run a youtube and have a small social media presence as I previously mentioned. Those are all based on these principles, learning, sharing and exploring new ways for all animals to be treated with dignity, respect, kindness and compassion throughout their lives regardless of their intended purposes. Including the rescue kittens, dogs, ducks, guinea pigs, chickens etc that we have taken in over the years. 

I do not believe in these huge industrial and commercial slaughter houses and egg plants. I do not believe in breeding sheep at 6 or 7 months of age so I can reach the projected outcome faster. I do not believe in locking the sows up so they can't turn around or lay down comfortably, or ripping calves away from their mothers so mom can go stand in the line to be milked as her heart is aching for the baby she just gave birth to while the baby is raised in confusion, sadness and fear, both being torn away from their deeply rooted natural instincts God intended them to have. I just don't believe these are the correct ways or the ways God intended for us to have dominion over the animals. 

Which kind of leads me  into a different subject for a moment...

I'd like to introduce an idea, something that makes complete sense to me and my way of thinking. Perhaps it may begin to resonate with you as well?

If stress, sadness, upset, heartache and depression do such awful things to our human bodies according to research studies, countless experiments and years of gathering information according to those in the health industry, imagine what it does to the bodies of the animals we  mistreat, force to live in unnatural conditions, destroy their natural instincts they are born with, force to live in unsanitary conditions, and then forced to be shipped away in a crowded stressful semi truck, separated from the only animals they have been acquainted with during their life times. They are the dropped off at a slaughter house where terror and fear rule the daily goings on and can be felt in the air by anyone or anything that passes by. They are then slaughtered, and  last but not least, packaged, shipped, purchased and consumed by us, the humans?

 Imagine what that does to the health of the animals bodies. And in turn by way of logical, common sense, deductive reasoning, does, and will continue to do, that affects the meat and other animal bi products we consume from these animals. 

By not taking our responsibilities that come with being given dominion over the animals by God appropriately,  not having compassion, concern, and a desire to allow all living creatures basic living rights, and wholesome, clean, fear free lives, it is actually us creating unhealthy food that is slowly poisoning and creating unhealthy products to consume as we eat three squares plus snacks everyday.  We are destroying our own health by not taking care of the animals we consume the way we were suppose to. The nutrition they were born to give us, is not there the way it should have or could have been. 

I believe the animals on this earth can still be used for food without the terror, sadness and unnatural existences that are a reality on far to many farms today. So much education, science, understanding, not to mention our own common sense tells us these things are wrong.. Yet, we ignore and over power these feelings because we want or need the money and do not care if we harm another creature to get what we want. In my opinion, humans have crossed the line of severe abuse and neglect towards animals many decades ago. 

We treat the animals as if they are "dumb, unintelligent, have no feelings or emotions" etc etc, because they don't know what we are wanting them to do as we're standing there screaming at them in a language they do not understand, to get in the truck, walk over there, go through that fence, stay where they are or a plethora of other demands were dishing out. 

What they do understand and base their choice and action on  according to the type of animals in question, is the feeling and the energy coming from the human standing in front of them. That is what causes them to do what they're doing. 

The laws and eternal truths of  "energy",  and those "bred into our DNA - feelings and instincts" all living creatures have been given, are Universal in nature. Understood and acted upon accordingly, by all living creatures no matter the country or what part of the world we live in, even when no words are spoken.

Love and compassion are heard  but more importantly felt through tone of voice, and kindness of hands  not through language. Words are secondary and man made. 

So, in all reality, who are the truly unintelligent, dumb, showing signs of no emotions and feelings creatures? Us, or them? 

They are still trying to survive and live on those gifts that God bred into them, to guide their lives and continue to create life for us to consume. We are the ones that go against everything we've had stamped into our DNA, trying to force things that are wrong even when we know as much. 

I believe in the end, healthy, happy animals that live their lives in clean - positive environments, where they are allowed to be who and what they are, produce higher quality animal bi products whether that be meat, milk, cheeses, leather, wool, eggs etc etc. 

If you are doubting what I'm explaining here, go and do some research for yourself. Look at all the studies on animals and humans pertaining to these subjects. Did you know that happy cows produce more milk when they are sang to or hear certain types of music? How about the quality of eggs? Did you know that chickens raised in filthy, dark cramped coops never let out to forage and do what chickens were born to do, produce eggs that have significantly lower levels of Vitamin D than eggs produced by chickens who are let out each day, have clean coops, fresh clean water to drink and higher quality of lives? The research and physical evidence to prove these things and so much more is out there, just not widely pushed into the general public view. I wonder why? 

I also believe firmly that animals can be processed humanely and without the intense confusion, fear, anxiety and sadness that courses through their veins and bodies during their last days when they are loaded up and shipped off to these ginormous filthy factories run by those who have become numb to the emotions and feelings of other living creatures. 

No matter how much compassion and love they were raised with, several days being transported too and stored in environments like this undo all the good they experienced before, as the adrenaline and stress hormones saturate their bodies. We then eat this meat being told its a healthy part of the 4 basic food groups. ???? 

Just because people want to say "Animals are stupid and feel nothing" doesn't make that the actual truth. Something we all should be thinking about on a much deeper level,  in my opinion. 

Now back to the original subject,

I decided I needed to look into renting some property so I could keep the breeding program I belong to going from my little neck of the woods. 

I never expected to become a big wig in the process as some others are, but I felt that perhaps I could be on a smaller scale a loyal cheerleader to the breed while securing a little bit of a future for myself. Just right for my needs and the needs of the animals I will have charge over. Not excessive, not boisterous. Just comfortable and realistic. 

Valais BlackNose lambs that are 100%'ers can bring in thousands of dollars per ewe or breeding ram. (There are now full blooded VBNS in the U.S. but only approx 17,000 exist in the entire world) Very rare sheep. They have been here in the U.S. approx 7-8 years now. 

This was also a way for me to earn, buy more property, and begin to share and grow my intended  purpose and mission of my hobby farm into something even better, little by little, inspiring, helping, sharing and  even learning from others.  You know I always say..... " It's The Little Things" Well, good or bad, it truly is the little things making the biggest differences one way or the other. 

I was getting ready to lean into a potential renting of a pasture opportunity, when the property owner decided to do something different with their land and it was no longer available to rent. 

I am so very grateful this happened at that time instead of later. I felt it was absolutely suppose to happen this way so I did not get in over my head using property and basing my whole future being dependant on something that didn't belong to me. 

This kind of miscalculation and unrealistic expectations on my part could have really caused a forever sadness in my future. So thank God for things not working out as I was originally hoping for, even though it is also true, I can not move forward with this part of my plans. I'd much rather be "still striving" than have to live with "I'm sorry I did it"

I definitely took this lesson to heart. I can not fault them in anyway, nor do I. It is their land and they have the right to use it as they need to for their family, that is why they purchased it.  And obviously God must have a different plan for me. Right? 

This little screw up is on my shoulders. I should have known the zoning laws better in the beginning so I could have perhaps made some better or even just some different choices that would have led me to a different place at this very time.

Through this experience, I have learned a few things. 

1) If it isn't my own property, I have no control over the out come of an entire life savings account that's been invested. You can't build out buildings, work on infrastructure to make things run smoother, or put up fencing to be safer, or more productive in a more timely manner. Why? Because its someone elses property. 

All things I had not previously considered. 

Every year that goes by without moving forward is one less year I have to build my own financial future and future securities while still trying to do some sort of "good' in this world.

The older I get the less capable I will one day be and if things are not set up right, I'll lose it all through an injury, being out of time, illness, or just the plain physical  lack of ability to do what I used to do.

2) This particular breed of sheep I have fallen in love with are worth a lot of money and as such, have to be protected from both predators, the most common being the unleashed family dog, as well as thieves. An absolute threat for baby lambs.  An electric fence isn't going to solve either of those issues. How can one install a fence that will cost thousands of dollars, to protect an investment, if we don't own the property in which it needs installed? That leads to a lot of wasted work hours, money, or both.

When there is only one person running the business, trying to problem solve and navigate all the ins and outs, the old adage of "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" comes to mind and it now rules my thinking processes.

3) Renting a mountain side 15 miles away from where I live, leaving sheep unattended with no protection and hoping for the best isn't a good plan ethically, or from a business and financial standpoint . Sure I could hire someone or invest in the guardian dogs, more money in food, vet bills and paid wages with still lots of risks I would have no control over. Driving daily 30 miles round trip would begin to drain what finances I have in gas and added vehicle expenses. It's just not feasible for me to consider those options. 

My sheep would need me to have my own secured property before moving forward. That  is a must and I know that now. With that being realised and learned, where does this leave me? How do I fix this problem? Perhaps this is my answer to prayers sent up. Not really the answer I have been wanting or expecting to come along, but never the less one I need to deeply consider. Sometimes if we ask long enough we'll get what we asked for only to find out later that was not a good idea. 

The field next to me that is attached to a home for sale ... That was also a potential idea. I contacted who I needed to find out some info and see if they would be willing to sell just the one acre field separately than the home. That was a no go. Not only did they decide against doing that, the price for that 1 acre field was loosely estimated to be worth over $100,000. No matter how much I may want it. Purchasing an entire home to get that field is out of the question.  

I have exhausted all of my options and ideas. No matter how I try to figure an ethical, legal, avenue to earn some money through the sheep in an effort to help me get over this hump, I wind up back at zero. 

Where do y'all  get your property? Are there hidden rules for small farms and backyard hobby farms that are listed/registered as actual farm land, that can overrule  local town, county or state ordinances? If there are, what are the pros and cons to implementing those actions?

I'll be starting my 6th year as a branded, small backyard farming sheep business and I feel so defeated. I have grown stagnant with one of the big purposes and overall  mission for which I started this place many years back, taking part in helping to  breed the world's cutest sheep.. ..... I am able to weave my rugs and I love that. But, that doesnt bring in any kind of substantial income at this point and unfortunately it takes money to keep things going. 

There have got to be others out there somewhere who are experiencing something similar. A plateau of sorts they can not breech? Someone who has grown and established so much so quickly, only to find that mountain keeping them from excelling and moving forward keeps getting taller?

 All the things I saw as blessings, are they beginning to turn out to be a curse in the end? Something that is going to cause not only me, but my beloved sheep such a great sadness and loss to suffer? 

Was I foolish to start something like this as a single woman in my 50's to begin with? Should I just cut my losses and call it quits? Should I have listened to those who said I should not be doing this and admit to those who mocked me for my efforts that they were right?

This was suppose to be my way to secure a retirement and future care for personal  needs as I age. It's been a must over the last 30 years that I found a way to work from home, and this seemed like such a great opportunity.  One I knew I would have and could continue to grow with. Increasing a talent and gift I have with animals and extending that into the farm animal community. 

 I should have realized the other people on this specific sheep journey that started in this specific breed, have money and lots of it. They also have husbands, partners or others to help them, but most importantly, they already had the ability to obtain the needed land to create the thriving businesses and flocks they all have. 

 IDK, so many what if's - doubts - questions and hurdles. I really have no idea who to even get ideas from anymore. Most farmers  are involved with family property consisting of hundreds or even thousands of acres. Many do ship their animals off to the very places I am against.

They run inhumane milk farms and are unwilling to even entertain the idea of trying new ideas or begin to think with more compassion because it will dig into their profits from their already thriving set ups that work like literal clock work.

Not all, but most have that mentality because life has beat them up in whatever ways unique to them and their families. They're hanging on in the only ways they have known as well. Change is uncomfortable, scary and requires the willingness to give up old beliefs and what has worked til now, for something we have no guarantee for that isn't here yet. Especially when working against the "norm" 

Sadly we have rehomed our ducks and our chickens due to not being able to afford to build or obtain the appropriate shelters to keep them happy, healthy and producing the way they were intended out here where we live. 

Although we had built a really nice run for our ducks, it was not predator proof, snow friendly nor did it have the very much needed cement foundation. That was my fault for assuming the basic set up would work just fine.

Here in the mountains where we live, we have way to much snow most years for a tiny coop and no secured run for ducks and for chickens alike.  Skunks, foxes, mountain lions, racoons, weasels and mink, roam in the hills nearby our mountain home. There has even been a badger spotted more than once. I saw it myself.  We need cement pads, sturdy built sheds that can be easily accessed and cleaned, with covered runs to protect from weather in the frigid winters and blistering summer heat and all the aforementioned predators. 

My worst fear is.... will the sheep have to be next?

I love them, I love processing their wool so I can weave rugs. I love trying new things, and learning as I go, how to better enrich the lives of the animals for which we have been given charge over and to be honest, they have enriched my life in ways I don't even have words to describe.  What sadness would consume me and my life without them. I don't even want to think about it. 

I know the healthier and happier the animal, the better the products they give us. 
The higher quality products we consume, wear and use, the healthier we are going to be as humans. I believe and know this to be absolutely true, but how do I get this belief and way of life out there to not only support myself and the farm, but get this message out to others in such a way the world and all living creatures both animal and human can begin to connect with, and live better happier lives?  While earning a living?

 What do y'all think? Let's have a discussion. I know I am not the only one that has run into or is currently living with situations like this. I know there are many, many people, families and small businesses with similar stories and hurdles. ... Lets bounce ideas off of each other and share knowledge about what's out there to help ourselves and the animals that depend on us.